有时候, 觉得自己只有一个人。觉得很寂寞。 好像身边的朋友都不是真的。事情多得做不完, 没有时间休息 。还是, 是我自己的问题? 总觉得要让自己累一点才能觉得自己有价值, 也同时觉得我不是没有用的人 。 我还是有用的 。到底怎么回事? Labels: Random

This is my life.11:01 PM

I should continue with this blog. Have all these emotions inside me and have no where to release. Should continue in English or Chinese? 我决定用华文来继续我的部落格。 觉得有朋友等于没朋友, 想在公司谈心却找不到人。平时的嘻嘻哈哈难道都是假的吗? 有时心情很糟的时候, 想要找人聊天也找不到。 人生怎么变得如此? 你忙我也忙啊! 怎么说到好像我很有空, 你却是超级忙的。总要人家迁就你, 那你呢? 就不能迁就一下别人吗? 总结, 好人难做。大家别做好人了。 Labels: Random

This is my life.7:28 PM

Forgot to mention few BIG things happen for the past few months.. 1) The most recent will be of cuz the MRT breakdown, the North-South line. Although it is a disgrace that our transport is down for such a long time, and displaying the lousy side of our transport system. After reading some reports regarding this incident, I think we should stop complaining and maybe help out/voice out ideas to help improve the system. As the line says "It is for our own good." 2) Went to the neighbour country to be jie mei for my friend. Quite an experience, have a great time staying at my another friend's house and also a great time to be jie mei for my friend. An eye opener for me. A small one. Never experience a wedding outside Singapore, this is the first time. So cool~ 3) Workload will start to get heavier from now on, which means I will have less time to read my school stuff. And this is bad, cuz I normally can't read anything at night after work. It is totally not efficient. But if I read during work, I can't do my work, which is a big NO NO. I can't do that, it is so not professional. Need to practise my PR skills, oral presentation skills, multi-tasking skills and finally my speaking & writing skills. This is to improve my impression on others. To prove I have the capability. 4) Bought a book on woman's health, which I need to find time to read. Need to take better care of myself. Eat less heaty stuff, fried food, oily stuff and whatever that is not healthy. BUT it is only the unhealthy stuff that is nice to eat. Haha~ I think I need to change my mindset. Eat more Fish slice soup (Yu Pian Tang) or Yong Tau Fu and what else? Well, will learn from the book. Jia you~ 5) The last and the most recent is 五月天 is releasing their 8th album and it is tomorrow! My friend will be helping me to buy. Should I buy both version? Which free gifts do I want the most? The price matters too. The figurine? The passport holder? The poster? Or the lucky draw? How much am I willing to spend on this? OMG! So many questions! How can I make decisions tomorrow when my friend call me to ask? Haiz~ That's all for now. Labels: Random

This is my life.10:45 PM

Guess I need a place to vent my feelings. Not feeling really happy, but not really sad too. I don't know. Due to other people's attitude towards me? Or what? Seriously my problem or her problem?? It seems to start since yesterday. Sometimes damn pek chek about her attitude. I'm your friend! Not a tool or whatever for you to vent your emotions every now and then nor am I just like a servant who must always observe you to know what is the 'weather' like now, and then react accordingly! I know you are busy and maybe also frustrated about your work, but that doesn't mean you use that attitude on me! You make feel like my problem is always small thing, yours are like super big thing. I feel like you are always treating what I said as rubbish, maybe I have exaggerated. Or maybe a more appropriate word is 'useless'? Does it needs to be me to start the conversion or always me being the clown or to entertain you? I hate it sometimes when you just leave it to me to make decisions. And when I made one, you rejected. Then what's the point of me making the decision? And also you seems to treat the things you need to do to be more important that gatherings or whatever. Maybe for me I don't need to do the housework chores like washing clothes, but isn't it the same if you wash it tomorrow night instead? I'm not sure if I'm being harsh to say this but can't you sacrifice some of your 'precious' time to have buffet dinner with us? So we always need to go according to your needs? I don't know!!!!! I am just so frustrated now!!!!! AAAAAAArrrrrrrrrrrrHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Labels: Random

This is my life.10:27 PM

This link shows the before and after in this Japan's quake and tsunami. Sad. Part 1 -> http://www.abc.net.au/news/events/japan-quake-2011/beforeafter.htm   Part 2 -> http://www.abc.net.au/news/events/japan-quake-2011/beforeafter2.htm Labels: Earthquake, Japan, Random

This is my life.9:12 AM

TODAYonline Singapore Bogus SMSes about radiation causing panic and fear Labels: Earthquake, Japan, Random

This is my life.10:12 AM

All the news these few days are so saddening. The earthquake, Tsunami, nuclear reactors meltdown.. It's so scary. The power of Mother Nature destroyed everything in just few minutes or even seconds. This tells us not to take things for granted, be content with the things you have now. Treasure your loved ones, spend time with them. You never know what will happen the next second. Let's pray for Japan. We are so far away to give any help, the only way is donations and pray for them. Give them the strength and warmth for them to overcome this disaster. I believe Japan will stand again, presenting to the world the once beautiful Japn. Pray for them. Labels: Earthquake, Japan, Random

This is my life.10:06 AM

It's been soooooooooooooo long since I blog. Haha.. Chinese New Year went passed so quickly that I felt as if I have not rested enough. This CNY should be the busiest CNY I ever had. As usual, first day is the 拜年 day. Normally I would stay at home from second day onwards, but this year, my whole family went to Jurong Bird Park! My dad should have told me earlier so I can get the staff pass for JBP and we don't have to pay for the tickets. But well, we enjoyed the outing. Parrots are really the most noisiest bird I have ever seen, can't be quiet. Noisy to a point that I want to kill them all, haha, not so cruel~ Can finally rest on the third day of CNY, going to prepare for the fourth day as my friends will be coming for lunch. So fourth day, friends came. We ate lunch, watched Bollywood movies, played Monopoly Deal and some ate dinner together with my family. On the whole, SHUANG!! Haha~ Nothing is better than spending time with friends and family!! After CNY, it's back to reality. Focus would be back on work. Work starting to increase for me, first experience on everything. Got to be careful since it's my first try. Did some mistakes, but lucky it's reversible and thus managed to save it but wasted some time. Then got sick, which is so irritating because I can't go exercise and can't go KTV with my friends. Started exercising last week, went running with colleagues and felt great! Although it's quite tiring, but after the run, felt so great that I have worked my body. Therefore, I have decided to go running every week but got sick at this point of time. Need to get well, I want to continue my healthy lifestyle, to train my body, maybe not train, maybe I should say 'to get healthier compared to now'. So my goal for this year will be "To exercise at least once a week." A subset goal will be "To reduce my intake of oily or unhealthy food". Right! That's my goal for this year!! Speaking about goal, maybe the third goal will be "To start a Masters program this year and finished it within two years". Haha! Three goals! 加油! =) Work is fine, getting the hang of it. I must train myself to ask questions when I don't know, if not I'm not learning anything and keep making mistakes. Writing about work makes me remember this colleague that I have (also my superior) is so funny. He's from Taiwan and his English is not really good. The funny thing is when a question is threw to him, he would replied 'yeah, you are right.' and I'm like 'what you are right, you are not answering the question!?' And finally in one meeting, one Korean guy asked him a question and he replied in this manner and the Korean guy just replied 'What right!? I am asking you ________?' He almost explode at the moment. OMG!! Please go take some English conversational class! At least speak some English that I can understand and at least understand the question that people are asking. How he got his PhD I really don't know~ Another problem with him is that he always touch other people's belongings without asking! I'm not referring to wallets or those personal stuff. It's the things (e.g. notes, papers, etc.) that you put on your desk. He just went to your desk, flipped through the papers to find what he wants. Since he's my superior, whenever I met any problem I will need to inform him. So there's once I called him from the cleanroom, I never expected him to come to cleanroom but he did. And with my runsheet which I have printed for my own reference and where did I put my runsheet? I have placed my runsheet in my cleanroom book on my desk! If he didn't flip the book, he won't know! Maybe he knows I placed my reference runsheet there, but shouldn't he told me about it. For example, when he came to the cleanroom to find me, he could have said 'Kwan Ling, I have taken the runsheet from your book.' If he had said this, I wouldn't mind. Instead, I noticed that it's mine, I asked him whether he took mine and he just said 'Yes'. WTH!! I know all these can consider as company properties, but shouldn't he have the basic courtesy to ask or to admit his mistakes!? Oh well, I shouldn't carry on complaining about his behaviour, wasting my blog space. He better don't let me catch him red-handed, I won't give face! As for the Masters program, I am thinking of doing it by coursework either in Mechanical Engineering or Biomedical Engineering. But I am still exploring other options, don't want to restrict myself. But it seems like I am left wth this two choices. Need some more time, but the process is quite tiring because need to go from page to page. Information overload! Maybe I should just settle with this two. Haha~ I should go get some rest so I could recover faster. =) Labels: CNY, Masters, Random, Work

This is my life.2:52 PM

Happy 2011!!! Haha.. Another year passed.. What have I done the whole of last year?? Hmmm.. Oopss.. It's always the same answer every year.. The only big thing in 2010 is I HAVE GRADUATED!!! Woohoo~~ Haha.. =) And maybe another thing is I managed and successfully found a job.. Haha.. The last day of 2010 is spent with a half day in office and night at Grand Copthorne Waterfront hotel for my daddy's company DND.. It was fulfilling, considering the food is not bad, programme too.. Just that the door gift really sucks.. Gave us those kids' toys.. Oh well, my dad got 30 dollars Swensen's voucher and 100 dollars cash.. Haha.. That's the good thing.. It's the second time they had the DND in this hotel, and I remembered only when I reached the hotel grand ballroom.. Haha.. We were early, so we went to get the tarot readings.. I got the 'Hanging man', and the person told me that those things that are still 'hanging' in 2010 may be still 'hanging' in the first half of 2011 but can be solved.. I need to learn to let go.. Wow.. Haha.. So, in conclusion, apart from the door gift, this DND is much much much better than last year's.. At least the food is better.. We went back even before the lucky draw which will start at 1230am.. That is crazy!! Based on past experiences, we left before the countdown.. Which is a good decision, because I got to see the fireworks at Boon Lay Place from my balcony.. Haha.. I videoed it down.. So nice!! I should be going to sleep now.. Enough of updating.. Haha.. Good bye, 2010! Hello, 2011! =) Labels: Countdown to 2011, DND 2010, Random

This is my life.1:45 AM

It’s been a month since I wrote my blog. Should be quite dusty.. Haha~ This whole December is quite happening. Gatherings with friends and colleagues. Had two buffets. One at Holiday Inn Atrium, Melting Pot (if I remember correctly) and the other (which I just had) at Ban Heng Resturant, somewhere near Harbour Front Shopping Centre. The first buffet is quite nice, not bad, at least I can name some food that is nice. But the Chinese restaurant, OMG, not nice. Sometimes if the food isn’t nice, then the people you are with are very important. The conversations, the jokes will make your food ‘tastes better’. Haha! Will never go there again. Never. Actually I just recovered from my fever and I went for a buffet. Crazy decision. Now I felt so full and hopefully I won’t vomit. But the feeling is different from the day before. It was really awful, and I know I will definitely vomit. But now, it seems ok maybe just too full. Need to control. CNY coming. No more buffets, get back my health for the CNY!!! Haha!! =) I just showered, can’t go straight to sleep either. Well, go surf net for a while then go sleep. Nitex~ =) Labels: Random

This is my life.11:30 PM

Am I too sensitive or I am just too pathetic?? Irritated by the couple around me.. Or is it by their 'no comments' attitude?? Watched HP7 again today, still a nice movie but somehow after the movie doesn't have that excited feeling as the first time. Is it because I watched it twice?? Or is it due to the comments given by those who watched it with me?? Don't know.. Lunch is settled at the 日本村 at the Cathay. The pork curry katsu looks nice and tasted nice but why doesn't I feel good about it? After lunch went to walked around PS and kept wanting to go home. Maybe not the first time have this kind of feeling with friends but it is rare. Is it because I am still single, so when I'm out with couple, I will behave the same way as I did today?? A lot of questions asked, but no answer.   Well, I should get used to being alone by now. Yes friends are important, when need a listening ear, you can count on them. But can't be there forever. In the end, you are still by yourselves. Ok, I really sound like as though I really need someone by my side. Don't worry, it's just a sudden moment of thoughts. I am always getting irritated by things that other people won't. 我的心眼小, ok? Can't be 大方.. Tired liao, go sleep.. Nitex.. Labels: Harry Potter, Random

This is my life.12:17 AM

Went for the follow-up appointment for the liver today. The blood tests result is fine, MRI shows small cyst in the liver but the doctor said it's ok. The next appointment will be 6 months later and I will do a ultrasound before the appointment so as to see whether the cyst becomes bigger or remains the same. Oh well~ It's over for the moment. My liver is functioning well and nothing serious. The next thing now is the gynae appointment in Dec. Oh ya.. Today took another blood test, it is to check about the Hepatitis B and C, see if these are the cause of the cyst. If the result is not good, then the doctor will call me, if not all is fine. Hee~ All good for the new year!! =) It's late now, 1130pm. Going to sleep~ Night~ =) Labels: Health, Random

This is my life.11:29 PM

Long long time didn't come to update. Don't how to. Ya, things happen but how to account to each and every one of them.. Work is fine. Heard my boss/mentor is resigning, already submitted the resign letter. So the question is who will be my new boss/mentor? There are quite a number of new staffs joining us, but who is the one replacing him? Seriously, I can't say I don't care. But so what if I know who is it? Now I just need to prepare myself to accept the new boss/mentor. 兵来将挡，水来土掩。I hope I wrote it correctly. It means I will overcome whatever comes my way. Told some of my friends that I am going to take leave next year Valentine's day to emo at home. Haha~ One of them told me about her friend who got attached and getting married this year and she is 26 now. So which means everyone of us will have that someone waiting for us somewhere. Oh well, if it's not mine, then it's not. What's mine will come. Can only console myself this way. Haiz.. Now is work, home, work, home, etc.. Soon, I will start going out. Already planned for the next few weekends, hopefully all of them will be a pleasant one. Gatherings and dinners with my friends, should be nice since it's been such a long time meeting them. Haha~ Oh, I forgot one thing! It's not only work and home, there is also Facebook. Haha~ I am so free that I can play Facebook so frequently. Crazy~ It will be nice to be attached, but I sure know that I will miss the single status when I'm attached. Haha~ Crazy gal~ It's the norm. Alright.. Off to Facebook.. =) Labels: Facebook, Random, Work

This is my life.10:45 PM

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Labels: Random, Work

This is my life.10:40 PM

Long weekend. Went to my big aunt's house warming on Deepavali. Have no idea why her daughter sold the 4-room and bought the old 3-room they had before. No idea. Renovation not as great as I have thought to be. Today went to Jurong Point with parents to shop. Haha~ Two busy days. Tomorrow going to my grandma's house. Long weekend gone just like that. So fast, it seems like I didn't do much stuff. Not feeling happy these few days, don't know why either. Just not happy. Nothing bad happened so that's why don't know why. I can be happy over some things for a while and then back to my 'unhappy mode' once I'm alone. Quite a bad thing, mood swing so sudden. But can't help it, it's quite auto. Can be happy around friends and colleagues, of course if we are talking about happy or funny stuff. But once I'm alone and nothing to do, my 'unhappy mode' is on. I don't wish to be like that too. I should just keep myself busy. Now at work is surrounded by those couples or those attached or even married. It seems like I'm the only one not attached yet. It feels quite sour sometimes when you see these people but you can't blame anyone or anything or myself, because you can't control over this kind of thing. If it can be controlled, tell me who's controlling it. I will go question that person, why let me be alone for so long. I want someone who I can rely on, someone to hold my hand or just hug me when I'm feeling down. Will I meet my 'someone' soon? Ya, take it easy. Maybe it will come when I don't desire it. Haha. Labels: Random, Work

This is my life.12:31 AM

Peaceful weekend. Except for yesterday's thunder rain. Super scary, especially the lightning and thunder. Sat on the sofa with my dad, switched on the lights in the living , if not I will be super afraid. Can't sleep, can't use computer, watch tv also no use. Although the rain did help in clearing the haze, but can it just be heavy rain without the lightning and thunder? So scary!! Today's weather is better than the past few days. No haze, cooling!! Yeah!! A nice weather to slack around. Haha~ Haven't been kite flying for the last and this weekend. No wind. And the haze too. The haze is really affecting alot, and yet the Indonesian side said we over-react. I know the people there is also suffering, so shouldn't they make some more effort in controlling all these? It will then be a win-win situation. They are able to farm and the air is also clean. The haze also makes me feel how lucky and fortunate I am to be born here. Should treasure what I have right now. Family, friends, work and all the stuff.. Let's be 知足.. =) Labels: Haze, Kite flying, Random

This is my life.12:19 PM

Another week passed. Nothing much happened. Went to see the liver specialist, going for MRI to have a better understanding of those hypodensities (which I don't know what is it). Not worried about it, mum seems to be more worried. Of course. How will she not be worried? It's her, it's the nature of all mothers. Again, hope everything will be fine. =)  Labels: Random

This is my life.11:29 PM

End of weekend. Beginning of a new week. Time really flies. Going to be another busy week. Hope everything will go alright. Today is a super HOT day. I sweat the whole afternoon. Now I can't stand outside for one second, air-conditioner is such a good invention. I love it! Haha~ Still feeling confused. It's not something that I can tell other people. Have to sort it out myself. But can I really do that? Have to control myself before something happens. Maybe staying the way at it is now is a better choice. Or maybe I think too much. All the 'maybe's.. Labels: Random, Work

This is my life.8:43 PM

Started work one week ago. Tiring but happy to see colleagues and friends again. Haha~ Went kite flying on my birthday. So fun, but my rainbow kite went down and got stuck on the tree in the middle of the highway. Haiz~ But when I went kite flying just now, I saw my rainbow kite again! Although it is lower than last time, but the string is being snapped into two by someone. I could have taken back my rainbow kite. I also saw someone trying to get the kite too. Haha~ My poor rainbow kite.. Kind of addicted to kite flying now. But the wind direction at the field opposite my house is not constant, so we can't keep the kite in the air. So irritating. But it's still fun. Haha~ As for the work load, it is still manageable. I really don't know a lot of stuff. Sometimes feel like I am useless there, but well, it's another kind of training. Just hope the equipment can be up asap, so I don't need to move between two clean rooms. Haha~ On a happier note, my office is renovating next Friday. Woohoo~ But the wall is going to get lower, which means I can't sleep. Haha~ Not really sleep la~ Just resting eyes only.. Hahaha~ But still quite excited about it.. For my birthday, I got a Doraemon cup and a Xperia X10 mini from my sister. Haha~ Still used to my SE w995 now, maybe will change to X10 mini when I feel like using a touchscreen phone. Finally managed to sync all my contacts to this X10, I am so a technology idiot. Need to check a lot of forum before I understand how it works. I don't understand why whenever I import my contacts from my SIM card, it only imported 250 contacts when I have around 390 contacts. Weird, isn't it?? Haha~ But well, I got it done in the end! Haha~ Feeling confused these few days over some matters. Not sure what to do. Should I just leave at the way it is now? Or should I pursue on? I don't know. Maybe I should just leave it at it is now. Let it happen at its own pace. Or maybe I'm wrong. Alright, I guess I have finished updating my activities for the past one week. Have a happy weekend everyone! =) Labels: Kite flying, Random, Work

This is my life.6:17 PM

The weekend is really a joyful one. Haha~ Can go out eat and walk further, friends coming to house. Hee~ Getting better, can walk a bit faster, can bend a bit, movement is much faster. Starting work next Friday, thinking of the journey now. Should I take MRT or bus? Morning MRT and the walk to MRT are quite scary. Because I always sleep late, so normally I need to walk fast to MRT. But with my current state, I won't want to walk fast. I can walk but not fast. So I guess I should just wake up early. Then, I must make sure my alarm clocks are in working condition. I have never used them for the past 1 month or so. Hope they will be able to wake me up next Friday and days to come. Haha~ That also reminds me I need to prepare some presents during these two weeks. If not, I don't think I will have the time to do so. I guess I go take a short nap now and wake up for the 刘伯温 drama show. =) Labels: Drama, Random

This is my life.3:43 PM