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i don't know what got into me.. i am extremely 烦 right now.. i cant do anything.. i want to do the tutorials but i cant.. i want to study but i cant.. what got into me? why am i so 烦? i dont understand.. i am never like this before.. i feel like shouting.. i feel like scolding someone.. seriously i do feel like quitting school now.. ya right.. who am i kidding? quit school.. that will be something that i will never dare to do.. when i'm young, i want to grow faster so that i can gain more freedom.. now that i have the freedom i have always wanted, yet i want to go back to the time when i am still a kid.. that time is really no-stress, no-nothing.. i am lagging behind and i know i need to work hard for this sem to improve my grades.. but how come i dont seem to have the motivation to do so.. how come i am always chasing behind all the lect recording, tuts and all sort of stuff? why do i feel like i am so useless? why? am i really useless? cant i take just this little stress? there's more to come in the exam period.. how will i survive then? lots of question marks in my head.. lots of targets in my head.. lots of things-to-do in my head.. all these in one word = stress.. 3 tests in 2 wks.. plus need to rush out project discussion.. all these things is killing me.. is this the cause to my bad temper recently? i am be very angry at very small things.. i can be very impatient all of a sudden.. i can be very irritated about anything.. whether it is related to me or not.. my mood can turn bad anytime.. i can ignore everyone all of a sudden.. is there something wrong with me? what is happening to me? |
This is my life.12:50 AM