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♥ Thursday, June 05, 2008
Just checked my results.. I am so sad.. I can't believe i got such result.. Should i go review it?? I know i am going to have poor result for that but not this poor.. It really pulls down my CGPA.. It pulls me away from my goal.. It is making me depressed.. It is so disappointing..

I blame myself for not working harder during this sem..
I blame myself for sleeping so much in cls ..
I blame myself for being over-confident..
I blame myself for thinking that i won't get poor results..
I blame myself for thinking so highly of myself..
I blame myself for not constantly revising on my school work..
I blame myself for thinking about things totally not related to school..
I blame myself for not concentrating during the revision of examination..
I blame myself for all the things i didn't do to make my grades get better..
I blame myself for taking things for granted..
I blame myself for not taking things seriously..
I blame myself not able to get good grades..
I blame myself for all the slacking i have done..
I blame myself for all the things i have done..
I blame myself for not studying hard enough for this sem..
I blame myself..

I have no one but myself to blame..

Who asks me to be so over-confident thinking that i won't get poor results?
Who asks me to think so highly of myself?
Who asks me to think i can catch up in the end and so sleeping in cls is alright?

NO ONE!! It is ME!! ALL ME!! THE STUPID ME!!

It is ME who think that good luck will be by my side when i need it..
It is ME who think that things will go smoothly for me..
It is ME who think that things will turn out right for me..
It is ME who think of all these stupid thoughts..
I deserve the poor grades.. I deserve it..

So should i review it? Should i spend the money to review it? Should i be so thick-skinned to submit the application for reviewing of the results? Should i? I am sure my friends did better than me.. I know that even though i didn't ask for their results.. For the previous times, i have the luck with me and that's why i did better.. But now.. My luck is gone and with my stupidity, i have failed.. I have been trying to login for the review of the results.. I have already login but when i tried to submit, it said 'No subject to be reviewed!'.. Does that mean that i cannot review my result? That means i have to stick with this poor result.. Meaning when i graduate, this poor result will appear on my transcipt.. Is that it? Why? Why is this happening? I shouldn't ask myself that.. I deserve this result.. I have only myself to blame.. I deserve it..

This is my life.12:40 AM