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♥ Tuesday, May 15, 2007
do you have the sudden urge to cry? it's strange why i always feel this way during late night.. not like i have experienced bad things.. i just feel this way.. but want to cry yet no tears.. 想哭却哭不出.. yup.. is this feeling.. dunno what is the thing that makes me feel like crying.. now no exams.. no tutorials to do.. although there will be one exam in jun.. but i dun think that's the problem.. what is the problem den? i have thinked abt this qn.. puzzled at how human thinks.. guys and girls.. girls.. many guys think girls are really strange.. cant seem to know what we are thinking.. is that so? me not sure myself.. being mysterious?? haha.. dun think so ba.. guys' mind are also quite difficult to predict.. anyway, how to predict one's mind? it's not easy.. even close friends may not even have the correct guess.. den how two ppl get tgt? fate.. ya.. wat else? just fate? fate brings them tgt.. fate let them noe each other.. fate did the introduction.. den what happen after the introduction? does fate carry on the job? tough, isn't it? being in relationship is such a nice thing but yet somehow it can torture ppl.. how it torture? just thinking wat the other person is thinking is very torturing.. if two person alr on gd terms, the torture part will be sweet.. if the two person have not start the relationship, den here's the torturing part.. am i being too extreme? using the word 'torture'.. hai.. back to the start, is the 'love' making me sad? the reason behind my sadness? is it? i also dunno.. i will put it behind me.. i will try to forget him.. i noe i will meet someone better.. if it's not him, den i will continue waiting.. no point holding on.. want to talk to him abt it but.. hai.. wats the point of doing so? dunno the reason y.. but just feel no point in doing so.. no point.. i didnt say anything to him, but somehow i feel that he noes.. how he noe i dunno.. whether he noe i dun care.. if he noe, how he feel abt it i also dunno.. want to forget him.. want to free from thinking of him everyday.. u must think i v stupid to hold on to such a relationship.. a relationship with no starting and no ending.. a cant work out relationship.. some ppl may think i am jumping to conclusion.. cuz i dunno how he feel and whether he noe and everything.. like wat i said before.. follow your feelings.. so i am following mine.. i feel he wun like me.. so i choose to forget.. u may feel tat i think too much.. just let things be.. some things i can.. but not this.. cant expect me thinking will he like me everyday.. as if i will die without him.. sometimes i feel that i am contradicting.. i like him but yet want to forget him.. u c the point?? u noe how i am feeling? talking abt him just make me feel more sad.. hai.. go do other things le.. night..

This is my life.1:06 AM